I Had a baby and I Want My Body Back: Reality VS “Reality”

Currently, there are 8 women in close proximity to me, that have had a baby within the past year. How amazing that is as a new mom, to have your own personal baby group? And how amazing is it for my little one: her own immediate entourage!

Quite frequently, these new mommy’s come to me for guidance on when to begin training again, how to overcome their frustrations with accomplishing old workouts they used to excel in, and now really struggle with. Going through this journey myself, I’m often re-evaluating my levels of fitness, and reminding myself of my instagram hashtag  #startwhereyouarenotwhereyouwere

The following fact recently occurred to me while out for a mommy-walk with a friend:
Of the women who have had their babies (3 including me…but one making a debut anytime now –quite literally, and another one in the coming weeks) each and every one of us has a very different labour and delivery story. We range from medical complications, sections, mid-wives, home births, inductions, epidurals, multiple births and the list can go on, and on. It really got me thinking today:

Why is it that we have such completely different labour and deliveries, but when it comes to postnatal recovery and getting back into fitness, we quite literally group all moms together and expect the same progress and results?

I mean, I guess I always knew that each of us has our own story to tell when it comes to having a baby, and the experience during the “big day”. But, I find it intriguing that when getting back at it, we quickly forget our own individual journeys and immediately conclude that we’re not as good as, or as fit as another person.

It is so, SO incredibly important to step back, and assess your own levels of fitness. Since I started back into my routines, I had to really scale back my expectations. I’m going to break down ONE of the many, many, different exercises that I had to slowly creep back into doing the way I had pre-baby.

THE PUSHUP
Think about what you were able to do pre-baby. For me, I could do pushups on my toes.. honestly I don’t know if I ever could do more than 15 consecutively. But, I do know that I could do push ups where I exploded up and clapped in between. I could do them on a decline, with my feet on a chair and bring one knee to my elbow as I came down, and bring it back to the chair as I came up. I could do them with my feet on a medicine ball, and my hands on a bosu ball. AND, I could do my favorite: tricep (narrow) pushups. I preferred to do them on my knees to keep my form, but I was ok with that. Sounds great, right? Impressive, even… Now… wait for it…

I got pregnant (Yay!!). Aside from the obvious medicine ball inside of me that made it tricky towards the end to actually DO the pushup, My abdominals were stretching. Stretching and therefore my core strength was changing. I slowly transferred from on my toes, to knees, to standing on the wall. No medicine ball (aside from my belly), no declines, no bosu, and my beloved triceps were removed. All this happened over the course of the next 7 months.

REMEMBER THAT LADIES: It takes your body almost one year to grow a baby, So why assume it will take anything less than that to go back?

By month 8, pushups were done. My workouts were changing, so my body conditioning was being lost. Fast forward Oct. 9th, my little gem, Vanessa arrived! Lots changes in your body after you have a baby. The obvious… baby is out, but then there’s the extra water, hormones, stretched skin, strained abdominals, maybe you have scar tissue, there’s stitches, your hips are sore, body is shifting again because of weight transfer… All valid points that we “know”.. but do we really, ACTUALLY consider this when we look in the mirror?

You should always wait a minimum of 4-6 weeks before you begin working out. 4 weeks at least until you begin walking, again it’s ALL relative to the type of pregnancy, and delivery or other health concerns you are facing. And as for the abs, or core? That area in particular took a hit (aside from the obvious sore spot heh), so it should be the one that is eased into again with the most caution and care.

Back to the pushups: When I started again.. it was on the wall, and even then, I could feel tightness and knew it wasn’t time to push. That was in late November. By the end of December, I was back to my knees. By the end of January I could do no more than 2-4 on my toes, and the rest on my knees… which brings me up to the past few months. Since February here is my official pushup status:

12 on my toes before I need a break in order to continue on
10 on a decline with a chair for my feet
4 narrow (tricep– my FAVES) pushups– ON MY TOES. Yes, I’ve actually IMPROVED my core and can do them on my toes
8 Pushups where I bring my knees to my elbow. Toes on the floor, not on the chair.

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Currently, I’m learning and improving on diamond pushups. These bad boys are tricky, but hey– if you don’t raise the bar, you wont be better than yesterday.

So, my final words are simply this:

Ladies, it IS possible for you to get back to it, and regain the strength. But remember… if your labour and delivery was different than your friends, chances are– the recovery and journey back will be to. Reach out to those going through this similar experience, because even though your challenges may be different– your emotions, frustrations and disappointments will feel the same.

You can always reach me on this blog, or email me mrskooy@gmail.com if you need some extra support. Always happy to talk it out 🙂

Much love my readers. xo

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Squirrel.

So I’m officially into what I’ve been calling “Operation M.I.L.F (F)”–> decide what you want that to stand for but I’ve adapted the acronym from what I was calling Mom In Love with Fitness… to Mom Is Looking Freaking Fantastic. (Hense, my extra F) haha.

There are SO many programs that you can hop into to get that body back, SO many challenges, work outs, nutrition plans, etc that quite frankly it can be overwhelming. This is why lately, I’ve been feeling a little ‘squirrely’. One day, I’m deciding to go on a cleanse, another day I’m deciding that I’m going to strength train… a few weeks ago I thought I’d train for a half marathon, I agreed to do another fitness photoshoot with other trainers in May, I started HIIT training in between strength days… played around with my circuits again, saw a fitness coach for help… And then took a mental break and went to Alberta to visit family with my daughter. (PHEW!)

So I get back, and it immediately all comes flooding back to me. I think to myself:
– your core strength and leg strength was brutal snowboarding: let’s work on that
– you rocked a one piece in the hot tub: let’s change that
– hum.. 1/2 marathon? You almost collapsed hiking back country with your sisters on the mountains: let’s fix that
– Your “cleanse” failed miserably, and you’re not eating right at ALL: let’s get on a plan
– You’re extremely tired, and not taking the proper supplements/ vitamins: find a PLAN

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN… FIX, FIX, FIX,

Squirrel.

Time to reset, and remember what it is exactly I want to accomplish. What do I REALLY want. Yes, I DO want to accomplish those things above, but just READING all of those things makes me squirrely. So, SELF: WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

When I ask myself that question, the answer is surprisingly simple– almost embarrassingly honest.
I want to feel comfortable in my skin again.

How many people can relate to THAT? I bet hundreds, maybe even more.

So how can I do that?

Since I seemed completely incapable of making my own decisions, I tagged in my other half. Hubby told me I’m biting off too much (yes, that I knew– I asked you why?) and then told me to forget about it all, and do 12 weeks of insanity with him. In doing this I can stick to a program, have an accountability partner, incorporate that HIIT training I wanted, increase my stamina, quite possibly want to die throughout every workout, but most importantly–> I can track my results with little complications and start to feel like me again. Hum, start to feel like me again– that would ultimately lead to what it is I really want: to feel comfortable in my skin again.

We also decided that WE would use Sundays to prep our food for the week, that WE would get our food scale fixed, that WE would stock up on multivitamins, BCAAs, Protein, etc. For this journey, I think it’s important for me to remember that I’m part of a WE, and that I’m not in this alone. (After all HE did this to me — heh just kidding!)

Having a goal is SUPER important because it gives you that motivation, and keeps you focused on what you want, but sometimes you have to step back and really ask yourself what do you want?
If your goal is too vague, you can get lost on which path to take to get there
If your goal is too complicated, you can loose focus on what’s most important, and end up making zero progress

I was the latter of the two. Wanting too much, too fast and therefore getting NO where. They teach you in training to make S.M.A.R.T goals, I’d like to make a S.M.A.R.T goal that can K.I.S.S my …
Specific –> Want to commit to insanity for the full 12 weeks
Measurable–> Will track progress before, half way, and after.
Attainable (I’m changing to ACCOUNTABLE)–> touching base with my husband to keep me focused
Realistic –> It’s one program, 12 weeks, with my husband. I can do that.
Time Oriented–> 12 weeks is enough time to see progression

This goal can K.I.S.S myyy buttt! because I have remembered to Keep, It, Simple, Steph!

I start on Sunday.

Let the games begin.